" Aku terima nikahnya ********* dengan mas kahwin sebanyak rm *** berwali bapa ", one fine day, this words would come out from my mouth. It's seemed to easy and nowadays we are all only memorizing the words in order to avoid inadvertently in front of "tok kadi".. But actually it brings a huge meaning. This short sentences actually indicate "Aku tanggung dosa-dosa si tutt dari ibu bapanya, apa saja dosa yang dia buat, dari dedah aurat hingga ke tinggalnya solat, aku tanggung dan bukan lagi ibu bapanya tanggung, dan aku tanggung semua dosa bakal anak-anak aku. Kalau gagal, maka aku fasik, dayus & aku rela masuk neraka, aku rela malaikat Zabaniyah melibas aku hingga pecah badanku”
Ouch, i can't barely breath when i knew what's the real meaning of this. So i decided to let everything goes to my mother. Im letting her find me a suitable girl. She knows better than me. Im just looking at some one's appearances and i would interprete her as this or that. It means im just looking at her out-most looking and classified her as what i think she is. It should not be like that. We need to see her inner, what i mean here, her heart. Not her appearance. " don't judge a book by it's cover ".
It same goes to the way we find a wife. I can't. Seriously. That's why i told my self to be patient. If the time arrived, and she is my destiny, Allah has promised that she will be yours even what happened. It's suck me down right now, i can't forget my past, each time someone goes in and out, i never can forget them. Once they are in part of my life, they are forever be apart of mine.
Now, my mama has chosen one candidates, she lets me know and i firstly disagree. She understands me. Because she knows what ever happened to me. Even though when she called me, she will know my situation. I think it back, i would rather let her choose for me than i choose someone that wrong, maybe ?
Sapa kate org perrempuan je kena kawin pakse. Aku rela jee. Sekarang ni susah nak cari org baik kot. And my mother quite fussy. Even what ever happened, she will find the best, especially for us ( her children ). From the basic, until this huge cases. The time is not right yet for me to marry. That indicates she accept to make her effort in finding me a future bride. It's awesome.
I love my mom. she'll do the best for me. I'll the best too. You're my heart, my very bestfriend. Your the best mother in the world. I don't want to make any nonsense things after this. I'll do my best in academic. So i could find the good job in future, and living happily with my wife, children and my family.
Ouh, since i still remember this one, i think i would like to named my children Amirul Adlin bin Mohd Firdaus and Amirul Amsyar bin Mohd Firdaus.